“I haven’t decided yet, but I need to make this quick. While I lied through my teeth about our hookup only being fun but not earth-shattering, it seems Peyton didn’t have the same revelation I did: I’m gay AF. He’s always posting photos of him and his teammates with girls, and I’ve tried to search for homoerotic subtext in the photos with any guy other than his brother, but even I know that’s grasping at straws.Īnd last night, when I caught sight of Peyton at Shenanigans, kissing the bartender, it all but confirmed my suspicion.

If all of his socials have anything to say, it’s not like he bats for my team. Peyton looks hesitant, like he wants to fight having me buy him a coffee, and I can’t say that I blame him. It’s hard to believe the guy with so much game back then grew up to be a bumbling idiot. “So, what will you have to drink?” My tone is airy and light, but in a forced kind of way and not at all calm and collected like the night we hooked up. We move closer in the coffee cart line, my wet shirt from my spilled coffee sticking to my skin. I’m hoping it can be with him, but everything I’ve heard around campus points to Peyton not having the same life-changing revelation I did.Īnd if that’s the case, did I just move across the country for a straight guy? We said that high school didn’t mean anything, but the truth is, that night made me realize who I truly am, and since then, I’ve been trying to find that sense of freedom again. I haven’t had to think about him for four years, but now I can’t get him out of my head.Ĭoming to Franklin University for grad school to follow a boy I hooked up with once is the stupidest thing I could have done. I’m happy to accept that until he turns up in California. And while it was fun, we agree that being with guys isn’t for either of us. The last place I thought I’d find my release is at Levi Vanderbilt’s graduation party. I usually thrive under pressure, but as senior year looms, it all gets too much, and I need an outlet.

I’ve been destined to follow in my NFL-playing fathers’ footsteps since the day I was born.

My whole life I’ve had the pressure of being Marcus Talon and Shane Miller’s football prodigy.

If you never fooled around with someone of the same gender, did you even go to high school?

Football Royalty by Eden Finley